And what makes perfect relationship so perfect?
And why do we have to work so hard in a relationship in order for it to work?
...Compromise?; What is the real definition of compromise?
Let me tell you something...
When two people decide to live their lives together, to live and breathe like one, they need to give up on their old beliefs and dreams in order to start building a new ones with that significant other, whereby only then prosperity and good fortune will come.
When two people live their lives separately but still think because they live together, share the same bed, laugh, fight, eat and live everyday like they lived when they were single,doesn't necessarily mean that they are couple; yet, they think that they share everything makes them a couple.
The real and perfect relationship is based on give and take. You are ready to give up everything in order to make things work between you two or the other way around.
You have to be ready to loose what you had, it doesn’t matter how long you’ve been building it for, when it comes down to it the two of you must trust and love one another.Then you start building your own dreams based on you two, not on what you had before as an individual, what other dreams you had before may not become a reality as in some cases you need to let go of your old beliefs and imagine new realities.
You never start building dreams involving other people when it comes to a better life for you two. It’s yours only and no one is allowed to know or to get involved in any way. Your dreams for the future are yours and no one else’s.
If one partner doesn’t agree with the other and gives a reasonable explanation why, then in order to compromise and to make both parties happy balance needs to be found. So the partner who wants their own way can't have it all the way, it needs to be met in the middle; pure balance. Perfect definition of compromising;
If that happens, your establishing something great, you are growing into something you haven’t even tried before or you think you did but never succeeded.
It is very hard to find a partner who’s 100% compatible in everything in what you think or do. For those who found themselves to be like that we could call them a "perfect couple". There is a difference between compromising and just letting it go..If you are one of those partners who just let go of everything and anything, you are being abused in that relationship, you end up reaching a point where you are taken advantage of...this is not fair. You need to grow your self esteem and stand on your feet strong. And other way around;
If you are arguing with your partner and don’t get it resolved it will pop again in lets say a month or two or three. And a new problem will create after that, and another one and another one, once at the end you will get yourself so caught up in your own maze where you don’t see a way out unless you break it off. Its to blame both parties. It didn’t get resolved. Maybe one side tried and other didn’t want to hear or both parties could not find that middle. If it did not get resolved, there obviously was no compromising involved. Then you need to look at the things from a different perspective; be more objective look at the bigger picture, don’t be afraid to bring a subject that didn’t get resolved it’s the only way to go through it. Forgetting about it won’t help as it will mask the situation but wont help with resolving the issue unless you bring it up and open it up again and resolve right there, no one is to be blamed. Blaming and tagging your partner will do just opposite. If you are ready to give up on your relationship if you don’t care about it then blaming and accusing will do that; So be careful when you talk, think about it before you say it. You wouldn’t like to be hurt why you would do it to your partner? With blaming and calling names or tagging and accusing you are growing apart and not helping each other. Stop that now.
If we are talking about “letting it go” term when it comes to minor things that you think won’t matter to you and your relationship in the future that’s ok, because then you will please other partner with something that doesn’t bother you at all you won’t feel it but you will make that other partner happy. If your partner is being very needy and time comes when you start feeling upset about it or it’s starting to bother you it’s time to sit down and express your feelings about it. When you express how you feel without blaming or accusing your partner just by simply saying how you feel about it and why, try to show your compassion... not anger and frustration because that won’t work - that will create more problems.
We are all human beings and we all deserve to be treated with the respect.
If your partner becomes disrespectful towards you try not to get upset because if you start being defensive with the same come back then you should know better then your partner. Then you should show who’s bigger and better by telling your partner there is no need for rudeness and disrespect and tell him/her how she/he makes you feel. Such as telling your significant other how much you love him/her and that she/he is hurting you by disrespecting you.
Nothing ever got resolved when both parties are upset and angry. That only leads to a disaster. If you cant talk to each other there is too much tension, this is when the two of you need to stop right there and then go back after you both cool off. But make sure you do that because if you don’t it will haunt you later.
And what makes a perfect relationship so perfect?
Proper communication, respect, love for each other, understanding and compromising.
If you don’t have at least one of those qualities, one can imagine how hard it will be to grow old and raise kids through your life time?
And if you say love is enough...you wouldn’t be reading this and you wouldn’t go through it because with love you would find that middle balance.
So how hard will it be to grow old?
Extremely hard and stressful and neither of you deserve that kind of life. You can’t be selfish and keep someone around just so you are not alone or to just have someone to talk to or for financial support. If this is the case, then you are in obviously in the relationship for different reasons and that’s not fair to you or to your partner.
Life is too short to waist time trying to fix things over and over and over again; And at the end many arguments never get fixed. You have one life, you will blink twice and you will get old and ask your self why I didn’t do something back then when I could.
Change the way you see things, compromise and be more understanding. Love each other and find that middle balance don't just let things go.
Act now while you can...because time flies and within a heartbeat things can change for the worse; or through compromise and realization one may be able to reach a level of self actualization and become a better person either on their own or through the balance found between two individuals.
Adisa Bahtijarevic
