Why do people think that they are better then you are?

Generally speaking, many people get slapped in the face, others try to put you down or make you feel worthless, which makes most people wonder:

“Am I really good at anything, Am I that stupid”?

But the way I look at it, who is it coming from? Is it coming from someone who knows how to respect and treat people well, or from someone who suffers from something that they never experienced?

Should I be afraid of a dog who barks or the one that bites?

We all have been there at one point in our life. I personally have been there and it feels horrible when someone is insulting you and you don’t even know what to say or how to act.
I sometimes spend days trying to get myself together and to look deep inside of myself finding those good qualities of mine, and then at the end, hell no, I’m good, I’m smart and if someone doesn’t’ like it, well deal with it.

I know myself better then anyone, no one can look that deep inside me and know me better then I know myself. I know what I posses and how far I can go with it, and no one can tell me or make me feel worthless because I won’t allow them. Not anymore.

It took me some time to become stronger and wiser.I guess I needed to experience it; to let people put me down in order for me to say that’s enough. My comeback is not insulting; my comeback is not even visible. My best defense is a smile and thank you for your honesty; surely I will come back to you if I want to feel like crap.

Have you ever wondered, why someone is insulting you or making you feel bad or what do they have that’s so darn good and you don’t?

What gives them right to do that?

The first thing that comes to my mind...they don’t have respect for themselves, how do you expect that they will have it for you?

Start feeling sorry for them, ignore what they are saying. I know it’s hard because you have ears and you hear and react instantly, but wait until they are finished and then turn their words around. You will realize that they are missing something, so it’s not you, it’s them who suffer from something  they never had, start feeling bad for them. That’s horrible.

Never allow anyone to insult you or tell you something that’s mean and hurtful.
Be confident in yourself and hold yourself high. When you do, you are showing power and not weakness, you are showing the best of yourself, and not the worst.

You have to train yourself when it comes to that and you have to start reading above and beyond those words, don’t just absorb what’s being said, listen for yourself from another perspective and look beyond those words, and you will get a perfectly crystal clear picture. The picture will allow you to see beyond the hatred and rude thoughts...instead you will see a human who is unique in their own way, and most importantly...beautiful.

Adisa Bahtijarevic

Life can be beautiful

A Beach, soft sand under my feet…I’m sitting with my feet playing with that soft sand, it’s warm and beautiful. Looking at the ocean in front of me; looking at the sunrise. The breeze is winding through my hair and I can hear the waves coming from the ocean. It’s so warm and relaxing. My eyes are closed and I’m breathing in this beautiful smell of ocean, I’m so relaxed now that the only thing I can hear is the waves and the only smell I can feel is ocean. Nothing is going through my head, I’m concentrating on the sound of the ocean waves and the smell that I want to keep in as long as I can. Stay there…and only there.

I call this a visualizing technique that helps one relax, even if you are doing it in the comfort of your own home. That’s all it takes for you to relax and not to think of your problems or anything that troubles you and creates stress. As long as you stay there, don’t get distracted, just relax and imagine the place that makes you feel safe, relaxed and happy.

We all come into situations where our mind is traveling 100 km/h and in order for you to deal with your issues, stress, problems, depression or whatever it is that is bothering you; you need to slow down. And you won’t be able to do that unless you quiet your mind. You have to quiet your chattering mind and visualize the place where you feel good, the place that no one can interrupt or disturb you.

My visualization is something that makes me feel good and relaxed, I myself love ocean and the feeling of warmth – this thought makes me relax my shoulders, soften my eyes and most importantly, allows me to just let go.

I can do that any time I want. I can do it in the morning while showering, or when I have my lunch break or working; my type of work allows me to do that, or I can do that when I come home while watching  TV or before bed time. The reason I do this every day is because I release my stress or anything bad that happened that day so I don’t carry it on for the next day and day after next and so on.

So when it comes to an issue I will be more aware and calm so that I can solve anything that’s bothering me and continue to be happy and positive.

If I didn’t do that, the problems would accumulate and I would become stressed out because there is just so much that I can’t handle. Again, take a deep breath and relax, go to your special place and stay there, until you feel good.

Every morning when you wake up thank God for it and every night you go to bed thank God for the smooth day that you had; it could have been worse. Thank God for being healthy what else can you ask for? Say “I love you” to people that you care about, mean it, say thank you and hug people, it feels good both ways.

If you want things to get better in your life you have to start  believing that they will, you have to be positive no matter how many times you were crushed down, you brush yourself off and you get up and go and you stay positive. You go to your little special place to recharge you batteries, 10 minutes out of the whole day is all you need.

Not everybody has a perfect life, but those that do, ah well,  good for them.

I don’t want to compare my life to other people’s lives, because if I do, there will be no reasoning for my existence.

 I would find 1001 thing that’s wrong with my life and I would hate my life by this point now.

But what do I want?

That’s a question to ask yourself. What do you want?

If you are asking me, I would love to have a house on the beach, let’s say, Bermuda, where my kids are running around and I’m chasing them down the beach, where my husband in the mean time, is sitting on the porch and enjoying a beautiful sunset…

But let’s be realistic.

What I want out of my life is very simple. To have a normal house, to have a husband who cares for me, to have a job that makes me feel good, to be healthy and to be positive in my life. All these things, people or places are achievable if you know how to reach for the stars. Life is beautiful, and by just knowing what you want and how to create that world is where the ‘beautiful’ world for you is achieved.

So take time to relax and stay positive because with doing just this, you are making your life beautiful.

-Adisa Bahtijarevic

How hard is to say "No" to people?

How hard is to say “No” to people? 

We all strive to do one thing when it comes to generosity and good deeds and that is that we give a 110% of ourselves and not asking for anything in return. And we shouldn’t. 

But with time we become very tired and mentally drained that we start feeling used in some way, but yet you can’t do anything about it. 

In order for you to feel good and not have any second thoughts you need to get something in return. You shouldn’t ask for it.  It can be a feeling of doing a good deed for someone  and that person doesn’t give you anything except a thank-you with a smile and you feel good about it and you feel as though you were appreciated. If you were in a situation, (and I bet you were) where you helped someone more than once and that person said thank you and smiled;  but yet you still had doubts and feelings of being taken advantage of in some way. Like it didn’t sit with you right. Did you every think of a situation where you were in crisis for whatever reason  and you just couldn’t count on that specific person and  you went to some else instead? 

And did you ever wonder why can’t you go to that person instead of someone else? 

Because you feel that you will be rejected or you feel that you shouldn’t even bother because it won’t help you and you need someone who was there for you, who you trusted before, who you could count on any time. Because of that feeling, with time you start wondering if you are being taken advantage of and you can’t stop saying “No” right now because it is your good friend or family member or co-worker. 

Feelings are very powerful, sometimes you don’t even have to talk, but yet you are able to sense what the other person is feeling. It can be a good or bad feeling. 

How many times have you met someone for the first time and you don’t know anything about that person but it gives you a feeling of dislike. There is something that you feel and you don’t like the way it feels. Naturally, you would ignore that feeling and once you meet that person you think to yourself “that’s what I thought”.
And I know sometimes you can be wrong when you just look at the person based on what you see, but inner gut feelings can’t be wrong. 

There is nothing wrong with saying “No” to people if you feel that you need to say “No” 

No one will judge you, no one will think you are a bad friend or bad sister/brother or co-worker unless you become rude or mean. 

If you feel that you don’t want to do something and you say “No” you are respecting yourself and others will respect you because finally you are standing up for yourself. Those people that used you will realize that you are growing stronger and they can’t do anything they want. They might not like it but they will start to appreciate you more for what you are and what you can offer without taking advantage of you. Only then if you feel that you want to help them when they are not asking you can offer your help and now it’s up to them if they will accept it or not. 

My greatest appreciation from people I helped is the feeling that I’m getting in return. It feels amazing, I feel appreciation and respect and I’m more then happy to do it all over again. 

If someone asks me to do something once, and after I do it, I don’t feel appreciation or that “thank you’ feeling, I won’t do it again. Simple as that; 

The reason why is because I’m damaging myself for someone who doesn’t appreciate it. 

With time I generally start feeling bad about myself, as it continues it will start to bother me and I will feel obligated to do it again because I did it so many times before, so how can I stop now without hurting anyone? 

Well it’s better to stop now because you will keep hurting yourself. 

Respect yourself by saying “No”. The word is made for a reason. 

If there were so many people like you who say “Yes” to everything this world would be a perfect world to live in. Think about that. 

And if everybody said “Yes” you wouldn’t have those bad feelings and everybody would feel appreciated and respected. 

But unfortunately, there are so many people who say more No’s then Yes’s. 

Follow your feelings and trust yourself, if you come in a situation next time when someone asks you for your help and if you feel that you should or shouldn’t help, trust your gut feeling and do it as they tell you, don’t go against them, it will hurt you and it won’t feel good. 

Don’t be a person just for help and in need; be a person who thinks about themself prior to the other and analyze the situation before saying yes or no.  

Adisa Bahtijarevic 

So what if you lost your job?

You feel devastated. It’s a feeling of sinking into something that doesn’t have an end. You feel both sadness and anger; blood begins rushing through your body so fast that makes you feel nauseated. 

So many things are going through your head that you can’t even think clearly. There are questions that have no answers and it’s eating you alive. 

I’ve been there, I’ve done that. 

What you need to do is step back and take a deep breath and start by answering your own questions. 

Let me ask you something: 

When that occurs what goes through your head at that moment? 

Could it be that your world is crashing and coming down on you, that you are judging and putting yourself down thinking that you are worthless. Do you feel as though you have not accomplished what you were set out to do? or, What did I do wrong and how can I fix it? 

If you come in a situation when you get fired, you should accept that as if you got a new opportunity to grow and thank God for it. Stay calm and think of yourself as being the best employee that the company can have and it’s their loss not yours. 

Don’t ever put yourself down because someone is trying to manipulate you. The company that fired you obviously wasn’t the right company for you and its better that it happened now, then if you wasted so many years into something that wouldn’t be appreciated. You have to think of this, that the company that hired you is looking for what’s best in their interest, it might not be the best choice of the company but you have to look for what’s best in your interest. You wouldn’t like to be an employee within a company for so many years being used and abused and not appreciated, and if you get fired this does not necessarily mean that you don’t have qualities or you’re not doing your job right. They will make it seem like that, but if you are ready to put yourself down then you will take that to your heart and you will sink deep down. So take that it as if they are not aware of what they are loosing, they have no idea what your capabilities are and how far you can go. They didn’t even give you a chance so that’s not your loss, it’s theirs. Each and everyone of us has potential, and if one is not enabled to reach their potential then you as a person must realize there are bigger things out there for you and most importantly, everything happens for a reason. 

But we all tempt to blame ourselves not realizing that it might not be our fault. 

Every time the old doors shut and new doors ones open up and you don’t even know if it’s going to be better because you are afraid to try . Because you took that to your heart you are becoming very insecure and you are starting to question yourself. Don't be so punitive towards yourself; in the previous example the company that fired you wasn’t worth it. 

You know how good you are at what you do. Whatever it is, you are so good at it, that no company can destroy that feeling. That’s what makes you stronger, when you start to believe in yourself and your best defense is to judge them for not realizing how far you can go. By realizing your potential and through criticism you are able to become a better person, and through each job you encounter you gain more qualities that will take you further in life. 

So next time when you are in a situation when you get fired, listen as to why you are being fired and don’t take it to your heart, just listen, learn from it and thank God so you can grow bigger and better. There is an opportunity for you to move forward. Don’t put yourself down, keep your chin up and smile because there is a company out there that’s waiting for you. So instead of marking and limiting yourself, take that as an opportunity to grow and go for it. 

At the end, what can you lose? 

Adisa Bahtijarevic

And what makes a perfect relationship so perfect?

And what makes perfect relationship so perfect? 

And why do we have to work so hard in a relationship in order for it to work? 

...Compromise?; What is the real definition of compromise? 

Let me tell you something... 

When two people decide to live their lives together, to live and breathe like one, they need to give up on their old beliefs and dreams in order to start building a new ones with that significant other, whereby only then prosperity and good fortune will come. 

When two people live their lives separately but still think because they live together, share the same bed, laugh, fight, eat and live everyday like they lived when they were single,doesn't  necessarily mean that they are couple; yet, they think that they share everything makes them a couple. 

The real and perfect relationship is based on give and take. You are ready to give up everything in order to make things work between you two or the other way around.

You have to be ready to loose what you had, it doesn’t matter how long you’ve been building it for, when it comes down to it the two of you must trust and love one another.Then you start building your own dreams based on you two, not on what you had before as an individual, what other dreams you had before may not become a reality as in some cases you need to let go of your old beliefs and imagine new realities. 

You never start building dreams involving other people when it comes to a better life for you two. It’s yours only and no one is allowed to know or to get involved in any way. Your dreams for the future are yours and no one else’s. 

If one partner doesn’t agree with the other and gives a reasonable explanation why, then in order to compromise and to make both parties happy balance needs to be found. So the partner who wants their own way can't have it all the way, it needs to be met in the middle; pure balance. Perfect definition of compromising; 

If that happens, your establishing something great, you are growing into something you haven’t even tried before or you think you did but never succeeded. 

It is very hard to find a partner who’s 100% compatible in everything in what you think or do. For those who found themselves to be like that we could call them a "perfect couple". There is a difference between compromising and just letting it go..If you are one of those partners who just let go of everything and anything, you are being abused in that relationship, you end up reaching a point where you are taken advantage of...this is not fair. You need to grow your self esteem and stand on your feet strong. And other way around; 

If you are arguing with your partner and don’t get it resolved it will pop again in lets say a month or two or three. And a new problem will create after that, and another one and another one, once at the end you will get yourself so caught up in your own maze where you don’t see a way out unless you break it off. Its to blame both parties. It didn’t get resolved. Maybe one side tried and other didn’t want to hear or both parties could not find that middle. If it did not get resolved, there obviously was no compromising involved. Then you need to look at the things from a different perspective; be more objective look at the bigger picture, don’t be afraid to bring a subject that didn’t get resolved it’s the only way to go through it. Forgetting about it won’t help as it will mask the situation but wont help with resolving the issue unless you bring it up and open it up again and resolve right there, no one is to be blamed. Blaming and tagging your partner will do just opposite. If you are ready to give up on your relationship if you don’t care about it then blaming and accusing will do that; So be careful when you talk, think about it before you say it. You wouldn’t like to be hurt why you would do it to your partner? With blaming and calling names or tagging and accusing you are growing apart and not helping each other. Stop that now. 

If we are talking about “letting it go” term when it comes to minor things that you think won’t matter to you and your relationship in the future that’s ok, because then you will please other partner with something that doesn’t bother you at all you won’t feel it but you will make that other partner happy. If your partner is being very needy and time comes when you start feeling upset about it or it’s starting to bother you it’s time to sit down and express your feelings about it. When you express how you feel without blaming or accusing your partner just by simply saying how you feel about it and why, try to show your compassion... not anger and frustration because that won’t work - that will create more problems. 

We are all human beings and we all deserve to be treated with the respect. 

If your partner becomes disrespectful towards you try not to get upset because if you start being defensive with the same come back then you should know better then your partner. Then you should show who’s bigger and better by telling your partner there is no need for rudeness and disrespect and tell him/her how she/he makes you feel. Such as telling your significant other how much you love him/her and that she/he is hurting you by disrespecting you. 

Nothing ever got resolved when both parties are upset and angry. That only leads to a disaster. If you cant talk to each other there is too much tension, this is when the two of you need to stop right there and then go back after you both cool off. But make sure you do that because if you don’t it will haunt you later. 

And what makes a perfect relationship so perfect? 

Proper communication, respect, love for each other, understanding and compromising. 

If you don’t have at least one of those qualities, one can imagine how hard it will be to grow old and raise kids through your life time? 

And if you say love is enough...you wouldn’t be reading this and you wouldn’t go through it because with love you would find that middle balance. 

So how hard will it be to grow old? 

Extremely hard and stressful and neither of you deserve that kind of life. You can’t be selfish and keep someone around just so you are not alone or to just have someone to talk to or for financial support. If this is the case, then you are in obviously in the relationship for different reasons and that’s not fair to you or to your partner. 

Life is too short to waist time trying to fix things over and over and over again; And at the end many arguments never get fixed. You have one life, you will blink twice and you will get old and ask your self why I didn’t do something back then when I could. 

Change the way you see things, compromise and be more understanding. Love each other and find that middle balance don't just let things go. 

Act now while you can...because time flies and within a heartbeat things can change for the worse; or through compromise and realization one may be able to reach a level of self actualization and become a better person either on their own or through the balance found between two individuals. 

Adisa Bahtijarevic